I'm not fucking about, I'm internalising

I think I’m coming to terms with my procrastination.

A lot of the time, it looks like I’m fucking about, but I’m really just internalising the problem at hand, and clearing space for it in my brain.

It might look like I’m doing 8 other things. I need to do those 8 other things first, because they’re in the way. They’re taking valuable computation power and memory. Once they’re done, I have space to breathe, and then time to really get excited about the task at hand.

And meanwhile, there’s a background thread going on the whole time, musing over the problem, trying to understand it from a few different directions, decomposing and recomposing it while I answer an email.

Sometimes you have to go make a sandwich before you even start.

Of course, the other half of the time I really am just fucking about.

Which one is it this time? WHO KNOWS.